


sunlight and known truths

by violetmessages



Series: ah, the light dances [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:49:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetmessages/pseuds/violetmessages
Summary: There is something about Jack Harkness, some essentiality, almost like a given fact, that he is just made for the sun.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: ah, the light dances [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172381
Comments: 22
Kudos: 42





	sunlight and known truths

**Author's Note:**

> a companion to [moonlight and other truths](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29550873), but you don't have to have read that to read this.

There is something about Jack Harkness, some essentiality, almost like a given fact, that he is just made for the sun. 

Perhaps it’s the way that his skin gleams, the tan becoming almost a gold. Or the way that Jack is simply more radiant in the sunlight, like it recharges his batteries, powers him up to be more energetic than usual. Or maybe, Ianto is just biased, and his feelings have leaked down into his thoughts once again. Regardless, Ianto thinks that Jack shines enough to rival even the sun.

Jack is constantly in his thoughts, constantly in his mind, whether he’s weevil hunting, picking up after the Rift, doing paperwork, or even when he’s in his flat, about to go to bed. Jack has wormed his way past all his boundaries and safeguards and implanted himself so deep within Ianto’s heart that it’s almost comedic how much Ianto loves him. It’s almost comedic how much of a role Jack plays in his life, beyond boss, beyond friend, beyond mere _boyfriend_. It’s comedic how, despite his best efforts, he’s so desperately in love with someone as unreachable as Jack, as unapproachable as Jack, as unexplainable as the man who’s sitting in front of Ianto now. Because Jack could have anyone, the cream of the crop, the glitter of the universe, and Jack chose him, a broken and imperfect man from _one_ corner of _one_ country of _one_ planet in _one_ galaxy. 

And that scares the hell out of him. 

Sitting in front of him, on the Plass, eating his ice cream incredibly messily and not even using his napkin, is a man who will outlive him by millennia, a man who has had lifetimes before and will have lifetimes after him, and a man who chose _Ianto,_ who will die, probably soon, and decided that he was the one that Jack was going to love. Jack chose him, and Jack loves him, and one day Jack will have to mourn him. 

So how can he ask Jack to say those words to him? 

How can he ask someone as endless as Jack to bare his heart, keep it open for someone as insignificant as Ianto, and then have him wear that wound when Ianto dies. Because Ianto will die, and Jack will go on, and Ianto cannot bear to make Jack have to deal with more than he already will. If professing his love will make Jack hurt more, make the pain of loss worse, make it so that the loss is a gaping mass of scar tissue rather than a clean break, then how can Ianto ask Jack for that. It’s not worth it, it’s not fair, it’s not _right_ for him to want that. 

And it’s not like he doesn’t know. It’s not like Jack doesn’t make it so perfectly obvious that he _does_ love Ianto. Just because he can’t say the words doesn’t mean Ianto doesn’t know, it doesn’t mean that Ianto can’t tell, unspoken words are still words nonetheless.

So if Jack wants to keep the words within him, keep the words buried deep within his mouth and never let them go for fear of future hurt, then Ianto will happily let him. Ianto will take the feelings alone and the love that Jack radiates with everything he does, and will not complain because what right does he have? What does it matter that he can’t hear the words out loud? He certainly feels them. 

And by god does Ianto _feel_. 

He feels it in the rakish grin that Jack gives him in the most inappropriate of places, he feels it in concern over his eating habits, he feels it in the ceaseless touching - knowing that Jack takes comfort from touch and knowing that Jack chooses to touch _him_. He feels it in the noisy flap of a greatcoat, in the smell of futuristic pheromones, and in the taste of Jack’s lips. He feels it when Jack stays in bed with him all night, unmoving, standing by, even if he doesn’t sleep himself. He knows it when Jack puts his clothes in the laundry basket, rather than tossing them on the floor, just because it irritates Ianto when they’re not in the proper place. 

Jack is an impossible man, a man that refuses to be defined, a man that is _good_ . A man that uses his lifetimes, his eternity, not to serve himself but to protect others, protect Cardiff, a city that isn’t even where he’s from. Jack protects Cardiff, not out of some misplaced loyalty but because it is the _right_ thing to do. How could Ianto see him and want him to hurt more? Even without the love that Ianto feels for Jack, how could he, even as an objective bystander, want Jack to feel loss?

It’s not right, it’s never right to ask for something that Jack cannot, and may never be able to give. It’s an unconventional thought, one that many would shy away from. But when has their relationship ever even been conventional?

They started as a one and done deal, because Ianto was _hurting_ and Jack was _there_ and it wasn’t meant to be serious, it was meant to be healing and enjoyable and a way for Ianto to feel something, _anything,_ and then it was supposed to be over. It was not supposed to last, it was not supposed to be anything other than a fuck. And then it wasn’t. 

Because Jack came back, and Jack came back different, changed, and Jack wanted to try, he wanted to try so hard at something _real_. And by that point, how could Ianto say no? How could he say no to a Jack who’s hands shook and who squirmed in his seat like a child in class during their first real date, who didn’t even come into Ianto’s flat after the date was over at first and not until explicit invitation, because it was real to him, and he was taking it seriously, and he was truly trying. Ianto was gone from that moment, because Jack was trying and he had never tried before, not like this. 

And the way that Jack looked at him, and still looks at him now, like he’s memorizing every detail of his face before he’ll lose it, like he’s seeing Ianto for the first time in years even though it’s been minutes, like Ianto is some kind of great beauty, which he’s not, and Jack is breath taken by him. It’s everything that Jack does, his actions, his looks, his smiles. 

His touch.

Somehow, Jack has squirreled and dug and buried himself within Ianto’s heart and now he stays there, permanently, because when Ianto loves someone, he’s loath to let them go. Because he almost sacrificed the world for Lisa and he wonders what he’ll do for Jack. 

So it doesn’t matter that Jack doesn’t say it. He doesn’t say those words that someone else might need. Doesn’t need to open his mouth to tell Ianto that, tell him anything, really. It doesn’t matter because Jack looks at Ianto, and he touches Ianto, and he shows it in his actions. He shows it to Ianto every day, and Ianto doesn’t need anything more than that.

Jack doesn’t need to say it for Ianto to know that he is loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos/Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here](https://violetmessages.tumblr.com/)


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